Recently, I wrote my first letter to a small circle of friends interested in diabetes-friendly dating online. (Drop me a line if you would like me to share it with you.)
What amazed me was how much I enjoyed writing to them. I felt the same way when I wrote this article for Taking Control of Your Diabetes, when I normally sort of dread writing and putting myself out there.
What changed?, I asked myself. I tapped into the love I have buried inside of me, underneath all the distractions, self-concern, and unconsciousness that I carry around every day. I want more of that love, and I think we’re all drawn to it when we put all the “stuff” we carry around aside.
More amazing is that love in our hearts can be cultivated and grow no matter how young or old we are. If you have diabetes or any other difficulty, give yourself dearly needed loving-kindness. It is especially helpful in coping with strong, wrenching emotions that come with chronic illness and wildly swinging blood glucose levels. Love doesn’t undo what’s wrong, but it transforms suffering like nothing else.
Here are a four suggestions for growing in love:
1. Learn Metta Meditation, the practice of loving-kindness. Sharon Salzburg’s book Loving-Kindness provides a wonderful explanation of what it is and how to fundamentally grow in our capacity for love - for ourselves and others. She shares very specific and practical insights and actions to grow in love.
2. Seek loving influences. Spend more time in the company of the most warm-hearted, loving people in your life. Avoid the opposite, even in entertainment. Violence slips into our consciousness the same way love does. It’s up to us how we want to shape our character.
3. Refuse to repress any generous impulse (provided you don’t throw your safety and security to the wind). Love becomes so much easier to uncover and express when our self-concern drops away while caring for others. Volunteering also reminds us of the suffering out there and of how much we have to be thankful for.
4. Find your life-partner and love if you don’t have one. (Your Best Sugar can help.) And if you do have a partner, practice lovingly putting him or her first each day as a gift to your love’s heart and your own.
Though love doesn’t undo the physical reality of diabetes, it trumps it. Love is bigger. Love is more important to our happiness. The love in our hearts can be expanded and expressed, and the world needs all we’ve got!
If you have any suggestions or ideas I hope you’ll leave a comment and share!